Sunday, 16 January 2011

Lazy Sunday - Party ON

Right, it's Sunday morning, make yourselves a coffee, curl up in your PJ's, the party is still on.....
I am always telling you about the trials and tribulations of my life - my Dunkin Donuts experiences in particular. Today, it's your turn. All you have to do is tell us all some really funny experience in your life - it can be something a child or grandchild said, or even a Dunkin experience (I can't be the only one who meets the crazy people!), you all have a funny tale of some sort to tell I am sure
The judge here will be my best mate Anne, who has a very similar sense of humour to mine - we both have a keen sense of the ridiculous. So whoever makes her laugh loudest and longest will win today's prizes.
For obvious reasons, try to keep it as short as possible without losing the plot!
I could ramble on and tell you a story about making this card - messy stuff and me never mix very well , but I am leaving the funny stuff to you today.........
Here's how I did it. I taped the Dreamweaver stencil to some white cardstock.....
dug out a pot of Dreamweavers embossing paste.......

and started spreading it on..... very gunky, very messy,


before removing the stencil, I dabbed a bit of Rangers metallic acrylic paint here and there, then I sprinkled the whole thing with glitter, and, very carefully removed the stencil







So what's up for grabs today?
The first prize is a Cricut Lite cartridge - Four legged friends (although why they have a fish and a snake on there is a bit of a mystery, unless there are some four legged fishes and snakes out there?)
If you don't have a Cricut, well, these things hold their value, so you can always EBay it and get something you want!



Second prize - for the next story that raises a chuckle or two
Martha Stewart Punch Around The Page
BRANCH


The third prize is three Cuttlebug Cut and Emboss dies
Love Language
Welcome Baby
and
Natural

There you go, Anne and I are sitting here with our feet up, wearing our comfy slippers, waiting for you to make us laugh. Come back later to read the stories for yourself

This will run like the rest of the competitions this week until the 22nd January, so you have plenty of time to remember those funny moments in your life




See you tomorrow for a blog hop with a fabulous and quite unique prize for one of you









105 comments:

Chloe and Her Clip On Koalas said...

So many funny ones to choose from... my sons both have albinism. As a result their eyes shake back and forth with a condition called nystagmus. Sometimes I get a little sick of explaining to people why their eyes are shaking, as I always get questions... so when I'm feeling cheeky: "they watched too much tennis" "Too much time on the trampoline" or my favourite, "He is scanning for signs of intelligence."

Melodie said...

Wow, Enfys, it looks so great, your cards are really fantastic.
Hugs
Melodie

Chloe and Her Clip On Koalas said...

Got another good one! When I was about 19 I was walking in the main street of a town town with my mum. Bless her, she can be a little loofy sometimes. Anyway, she started creating a scene shaking her pants saying there was a bug in her pants, anyway, with now about 30 people looking on, her knickers from undressing the day before fell out her leg hole of her pants!!! Arrghghghghhh... What did my mum do now that so many people were watching??? WALKED ON!!! I couldn't leave her knickers on the pavement so I HAD to pick them up!!! eek!!!

Linda said...

Okay, right now I have a flu bug and I am slightly feverish and cannot sleep, it is 2:30 a.m. in California right now. Here is one of my funny stories. . . My daughter, 2 years old, and my husband and I go to a local Italian Tratorria quite often (they have a great lunch special). There is one female waitress that loves my daughter, even calls her by her name Livi when she greets her at the door. Like I said she really dotes on her and Livi, very verbal, always asks me what is the "man doing?" Rather loudly I might add. I have to quickly shush her and tell her that even though she has a short haircut and a not so soft voice, she is a woman. "She is a woman, Liv." This happens all the time at this place and other places as well, the supermarket is the best place for this as well, and wouldn't you know it, these females (???, I can't tell) always have names like "Pat," "Shaun," "Terry." Very stressful for me to quiet her. My 6 year old was the same way. Take care.

Shazza said...

'Ninja Turtle Icecream'
An after school quick shop at Franklins with my three kids. Middle son (Jarred 10yrs)complaining of being hungry and couldn't wait til we got home. Noticed some 'Ninja turtle icecream' dripping from a container in the freezer...swung opened the freezer doors and started licking the icecream..well he got his tongue and lips stuck to the freezer bars for at least 5mins, and could not set himself free. Hilarious site!! Fat little bum sticking out of the freezer and making garbled sounds! It brought Frankins to a standstill!!...He did eventually free himself, obviously he never left my side after that when we ventured out shopping again......

Cheers
shazza

love2quilt95 said...

Enfys,
You definitely out did yourself with this card. It's so beautiful and the technique so creative! Maybe a video tutorial?

sallysbitz said...

Well.... my story is about a holiday experience in Spain.
It was a couple of years ago, my Son wanted to hire out a pushbike,but wanted me to join him! I have not been on a bike since I was a kid, hubby said I will sit over there in that bar (he ain't silly).
When I got on the bike I was wobbly, but soon found my feet again.
This particular time of year (July), you had the professional cyclists training, and the bike path is like a road, up one way & down the other. I was concentrating so much in staying on the bike that I did not see the cyclist speeding towards me, he was not stopping or moving over for love nor money... I ended up letting my bike go & grabbing onto a palm tree!!!! how embarassing Lol

It sounds more funny when it is told than typed x

hugs sally x
sallysbitz.blogspot.com

Larisa said...

Great technique for cardmaking!!! Love the final effect!!! Very good job!)))

pinky said...

Ok I'm first then. I remember my late Mum always loved to get a fish and chip from a popular place in our town but it was hard to get a parking space. I would drop her and tell her if I had to circle round I would come back but to hurry. Well she came running out of the chip shop and jumped into the car...but not mine and told the driver to hurry up or the fish would get cold. Luckily he had a sense of humour and said lets eat them now then. My poor Mum was mortified! I laughed and laughed for a long time after that. One of those memories that helps you remember good times instead of sad;) Love your messy card Enfys.

Chloe and Her Clip On Koalas said...

To amuse myself I came back here to read stories! Love it!

But another one... I'm not really a car girl, I don't notice who drives what/ different models, etc. When I was 18 I owned a toyota corona and (not a good advertisement) but one day I jumped in my car in the shopping centre where I worked and drove home. As I approached home, I realised it was not my car!! My key had unlocked and started a completely different toyota!!... I raced back, but the parking space I drove from had been taken so I parked their car about ten places down. hahahahaha... that would have been a weird surprise for them! Got in my car and zoomed off!

lisa said...

Oh wow, Love scanning for signs of intelligence, had me lol.
Well mine isnt very funny, but I still get teased about it.
Years ago, I was in the city of a state i wont mention, it was Christmas time, and the window displays were all done up.
In Myers they had a nativity scene, with a life like cow.
Anyway I say in a loud voice to one of my siblings, How are they getting that cow to stay put, behind the glass window. Well because it was an animatronic COW.

d said...

Gotcha.
One night after a big night out on the town me and hubby decided it was nearly time to hit the sack...but as hubby layed down he realised that he was busting to go to the toilet and headed outside (as most men do)and i heard him saying hello to the dogs, who where very excited to see us come home. Then i heard this "what the" and a big fit of laughter. when i rushed outside to see what had happened, he told me had had been weeing outside next to the carport and the dog walked past him and he accidently got some wee on the dog, anyways when he had finished doing his business he went to say sorry to the dog and he rolled over to scratch his belly and the dog then let some wee out and got wee all over hubbys hand...all the dog needed to say was Gotcha back!!!

Sherry said...

I'm watching my 13 month old grandbaby. Yesterday he strolls into my bedroom & proceeds to open a drawer & starts to pull my clothes out of my drawer & looks at me with a big cheesy grin & laughs. He then takes my clothes & walks all the way around the bed to get in grampy's drawer & puts my clothes in there...I don't think grampy will like wearing my spaghetti strap tank tops!!! And if he does, I'm outta here...LOL

Sherry

Melissa said...

Enfys, this is one of the most beautiful cards ever! I would be beside myself if I received a card as gorgeous as that in the mail!

I will give you my "funny" story from last night! I was upstairs finally get a chance to do some scrapping and card making and my boys were downstairs playing Wii. All of the sudden I heard "Oh no!" I run down the stairs and into the kitchen where I find something similar looking to the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man from the Ghost Buster movie!!! My 6 year old had taken a whole bag of mini marshmallows and deorated it with a whole container of green decorative holiday sugar and put it in the microwave! He was "making us dessert". Oh dear Lord...what a mess!

1CardCreator said...

I do love your stories Enfys. My favorite is when my husband was traveling from Michigan through Ohio, his co worker wanted to stop for a Lottery ticket. Dh who rarely buys tickets decided to do the same. When he got to the ticket counter he was presented with the options, "one time or payments?" My dh responded, I'll pay it all now. I can only imagine what that clerk went home and told her family that night about the big spender who paid for his $1.00 ticket. Love this story. ~Diane

pisces23 said...

yayyy..love the card and its technique..u are a super cardmaker..

my story..i worked yesterday together with a 60 yr old colleague...we drove to different elderly homes for different check ups..first home my colleague forgot her pair of gloves, second home she forgot her hat and the third home she missplaced the carkey..we looked after for 30 minutes and finally we found it at her jackethood and everybody sigh and said what an unlucky day...and i said it's time for her to apply for early retirement..hmmmm.

lovelylorns@gmail.com
in sweden

Angie said...

With 3 kids, I have so many funny stories, but this one sticks out. My 5 yr old son was watching tv one morning in his pjs and had his hand down...well, you know. I said stop playing with that, it's not a toy. His response,"Yes it is Mommy, it's an action figure." Little does he realize!

LorraineB said...

I have many but I'll just tell you two. One - when my nephew was very young and we had a family car trip to North Carolina we stopped at a gas station/food mart for a cup of coffee at around 2AM. My nephew had to use the bathroom but the mens room was not operational. He went to take him into the ladies room and Ryan kept screaming at the top of his voice I AM NOT A WOMAN. There happened to be quite a few people in the place even though it was the middle of the night and they had to come see what all the screaming was about. Part two to come.

Josie0602 said...

When my son was little, maybe about 2, we were in the grocery and he spotted a woman who was dressed rather strangely with crazy hair. He piped up loudly and clearly...look Mommy...A clown! We left the store pretty quickly after that!! Love those little ones!

Nannieflash said...

Oh my Enfys it looks rather a messy way of creating a card, Im sure your grandchildren would love to have a go at that, but what stunning results. With love and hugs Shirleyx

KraftyKaren said...

Fab card Enfys.

Lovely tales everyone - I am sat here chuckling away so here is mine.

We were having a family BBQ and I was in the kitchen making the dream topping layer of my trifle. I put it in my shaker device with the milk and very carefully put the lid back on making sure that it clicked down properly and then I got shaking. To start with I kept my hands firmly clasped over the top but as my hands tired I moved them down. Yes I had clicked the big lid on firmly but hadn't checked the little port hole in the top of the lid. It flew off followed by the contents. Dream topping went everywhere but mainly all over me. Mum came into the kitchen seconds later to find me looking like a drowned rat coated in dream topping. She helped me out of all my clothes but I then had to send mum out into the lounge to distract people so that I could streak upstairs in my underwear to wash my hair and get fresh clothes. Bless her she cleaned all the counter tops and floor for me. But the funniest thing about the whole incident was that my DH never even noticed that I started the BBQ in one set of clothes and ended it in a completely different outfit!!

Karen x

LorraineB said...

My daughter is a ticket agent for a major railroad in New York State. This past August a woman, weighing in at about 300 lbs., came in wearing a sports top and a pair of knit capri's. Not a pretty picture. She sat on the bench in the waiting room. It was a very hot day. After a while my daughter looked over to see the woman remove her top. No bra. My daughter said what are you doing?!! Please put your top back on. She ignored my daughter. There are alot of people coming in to buy tickets and she certainly couldn't have a braless women with hefty breasts no less, sitting there. After a while she covered them but did not get her top back on. She then got up to use the ladies room and when she came out, she was totally naked. Not a stitch on. She walked over to the bench and sat down like it was perfectly normal to be naked in a public waiting room. At this point my daughter lost it and said what are you doing!! The women replied, it's August, it's hot. She would not get dressed. So, my daughter called the police. The woman had gone back into the bathroom and when the police arrived, they knocked on the bathroom door for her to come out. She had been in there a while. She opened the door, still totally naked, and the police said, oh, Maryann, it's you. So apparently she had done this before. She refused to get dressed for the cops too. So...they had a yellow plastic tarp which they covered her in and took her away. Before they did so, she wanted to put her sneakers on. She was standing with her butt facing the large glass ceiling to floor windows which face out to the area where people wait for the trains, bent over, and put her sneakers on. My daughter took pictures (because nobody would believe it - lol) with her phone camera. She gets quite an assortment of crazy people on a regular basis at the train station, but this one was exceptional.

Debbie said...

Well my funny experience was on me and happened a long time ago.
I was shopping for milk at our local grocery store. As I leaned over to pick up the jug of milk I looked to my left and there were mirrors in the display case on each side. I saw my reflection and not realizing it was me I said "Hey..how are you?" I burst out laughing when I saw it was just a 'reflection' and not a person. I hurried up and got the heck out of the store before anyone saw what I did. geeze

Take care,
Debbie

Debra said...

This is going to be fun what a great challenge!
When my daughter decided to get her own apartment as a freshman in college (please note this apartment is 10 minutes from home) I took her shopping for food at Walmart. As we went through the aisle I suggested she might want to pick up a few cans of Spagetti O's (I think they are icky..cardboard and ketchup..she loves them..I digress). She looked at me and with all seriousness said "No..I don't have a microwave" So I looked at her...waiting...and she said "What? I don't have a microwave" I said "What about the large square thing in your kitchen...and pots and pans...heating it on the stove" She just looked at me and said "Oh". LOL I bought her a microwave that day...and told her it was because of the fun I was going to have retelling that story! Have a great day.

eiyiyi said...

Oh En, that card is gorgeous!

Scanning for intelligence ... now that is clever!

My story is about me. Like all of you, I am painfully honest and wouldn't take a candy out of a dish unless invited to do so. Well last week I was shopping at Walmart and had picked up a somewhat large carry on suitcase, and an odd assortment of things, like coconut, coffee filters, pens, etc. On my way to the checkout counter I saw a pair of pajama pants hanging on a rack. Color I wanted, sized I needed ... perfect. With no holding space left, I slung them over my shoulder with the hanger to the front. Put all my goodies on the counter, paid for it all, had the woman put all my purchases in the suitcase to save a plastic bag, walked out, put my stuff in the trunk, got in, fastened my seatbelt, drove home, unfastened my seatbelt, got the stuff out of the trunk, went in, unpacked and put away all the stuff, took the suitcase into my closet and turned around to face the mirrored door of my husbands closet to see a pair of black pants with a huge white hanger on the shoulder of my light blue top! I had shoplifted my $7.00 pj pants.

Now if any of you shop at Walmart you know that explaining things to customer service can be challenging so to save myself the trouble I put the pants in the bag and went back to Walmart and entered through the garden center. Halfway through the store, I took the pj's out of the bag and proceeded to the counter, and paid for them. I was half way to the door when the half-wit manager stops me and wants to know why I brought merchandise into the store and then paid for it. An hour and a half later I finally had them convinced that I wasn't a thief, a lunatic, or a spy for another store! Now every time I shop my dear husband asks if I'm going to pay for it or just "wear it home"

kath said...

a dear but goofy friend of mine was at a new year's party...there was lots of snow on the ground. She got into a conversation with the guy sitting next to her who told her that he was playing golf the following day and when she commented "but how can you see the ball in the snow" he told her that in the winter they play with coloured balls. The following morning she was taking her dog for a walk and saw the golfer waiting in a long queue at the bus stop with his golf bag. She called across the street "Red Balls today Mike" and walked on quite oblivious to the double entendre. Bet his face was red too....hugs kath xxx

Mary said...

These stories are great! I was driving my grandkids to school when the 6 year old asked how do you get babies? (this has been on going for weeks now).I asked him where he thought they came from when he came up with this: the Daddy feeds the mommy all kinds of seeds: from apples, grapes then the mommy goes to the Dr's, they put gel on her belly to see the baby then the mommy tell the Dr. to take the baby out. Good thing they didn't feed her pomegranate seeds huh, lol.

Sally said...

Love your card! It's gorgeous

My funny story is when my granddaughter was 2 1/2 she gave me an anatomy lesson. She explained that all little girls have iny belly buttons and all little boys have outy belly buttons. I explained that isn't so and we let it drop. A couple weeks later she was sitting on the potty and said Nonnie all little girls sit on the potty to pee, pee and all little boys stand up and pee, pee out their belly buttons. The light came in my head and I understood her reasoning from a couple weeks before. I didn't touch that one..thought it was best for her parents to explain, but I sure have laughed a lot about it. How can you not love kids?

Crafty Lady said...

My daughter and 2 year old granddaughter were helping prepare for a baby shower where fruit kabobs were going to be served. While I was cutting pineapple chunks my granddaughter asked if that was cheese. No, she was told, it is pineapple. Later she watched as strawberries were being cut up... a fruit she loves! She proceeded to ask if she could have strawberries and pinecones! Ah, the adorable mind of a two year old! By the way... that card is beautiful... AND I have some of that empossing paste!

Kimberly said...

Well my most embarrising moment. I still can't live it down. Picture this, white water rafting, going down rapids loud, noisy,haveing a grand old time. Then on a small streatch of water all is calm no a sound can be heard. Half your wet bottom is on the side of the raft, the other hanging mid air. Out of nowhere with a boat full of people one rips. It couldn't happen when we were going down rapids NO just when all is quite and sure enough i'm pointed out by everyone right in front of the hot i mean HOT guide. I could have died...Co workers still talk about it and that was over 10 yrs....ahhhhh, i have to laugh though cause i rarely let one go and to happen then well what can i say...
www.canadiancraftcorner.blogspot.com
kimbob27@hotmail.com

bcriminger said...

The children in my life (everyone else's as I don't have any of my own yet) always make me laugh. I'm beginning to think I should start writing the stories down. The other day while I was teaching preschool one of the boys had a smiley face sticker that said, 'I love Jesus' I asked him if he got it at Sunday School. This was his reply, 'Yes, I learn so much at Sunday School. Jesus was a baby who growed up and was drowned in a river, then he came back to life and used a big stick to get water out of a rock, then he got eaten by a whale, but he didn't die, cause the whale threw him back up then he put mud on some people's eyes so they could see, cause they were bling. Mrs. Brandi, Jesus wasn't a very clean person.' I think he got mixed up a little along the way... lol!

Heather said...

Great card!! While at our family reunion 2 years ago... my neice (Suzanne who is 23), who NEVER holds babies, decided to hold my 6 month old daughter. Well, we warned her that Maci spits up a lot. I was handing Maci to Suzanne and what did Maci do at that exact moment? Yep, spit up right down the front of Suzanne. It was great. What made it even better was that my hubby snapped a picture at the same moment. The expression on Suzanne's face was hilarious. (I really wish you could see the picture.) I like to remind Suzanne of that picture now that she is having a baby of her own since she always said she was NEVER going to have kids.

bhoward at kci dot net

BethanyR said...

This is my go to funny story so I knwo some of my friends ahve already heard it. As a tradition I made crepes on Christmas morning. My boys LOVE them and say it's the best part of Christmas. When my middle son was in school in one of his classes they were asked to write about holiday traditions. He wrote my Mom makes craps on Christmas morning, my mom makes the best craps in the whole wide world. I love my mom and her craps. The teacher called him up to his desk and asked him what he was trying to spell. I frames his essay.

Anonymous said...

luvin these stories! and I too want that card! gorgy!

my kids are grown so my recall stinks lol...but at thanksgiving this last year...as tradition goes..just before the meal we all hold hands to say our group prayer and then many of us add our own special thanks or requests. This holiday was special as my brotherinlaw had been successfully treated for cancer which makes us all VERY happy! Usually, my BIL says the prayer...so here we are...about 23 of us in a large circle...he begins by saying ok is everyone ready (cuz there are a few small grandkids of his too) ...he is about to begin when his 5 year old grandson says " I got this one Papa"... well...its was about the sweetest thing you could hear, but also VERY funny...and u know...I'm at that age, where planned laughter is better than unplanned...so off to the potty I had to go!

luv your blog! and ty ladies for making me giggle today!

cher

hilly77 at comcast dot net

Carole RB said...

Hi Enfys

Thanks for sharing this tutorial. I love how your card turned out.

I love all those funny stories. English is not my language so I can't tell you one except if I want to write all day always searching for words.

Have a nice sunday.

duchessdee said...

My 21/2 year old ggrandson had gone to the chiropractor for well over a year w/ me every week.Nver saying anything. Then one day,as the dr. strating to turn my head to adjust my neck comes his voice,"WATCH OUT, GRANDMA, HE'S GOING TO POP YOUR HEAD RIGHT OFF!!"

Jayne Williams said...

Hello from merry olde England

My story involves a trip to the largest art museum - The Tate Modern. It has lots of comtempory art and my Mum and I had had a great day but wanted some lunch so we waited for the lift and waited and waited until a rather embarrassed looking securtiy guard explained we were standing by an exhitbit not a way to get to the next floor.

Leanne said...

I will try to make this short!! I have had some very funny and embarassing things happen to me over the years and this is just one of them! A few years back we had a above ground pool (nothing fancy) and every evening me& hubby would take a swim. Before going in the back door I would pull off my swimsuit and hang it over the clothes line and then go in so I wouldn't get everything wet (lived in the country so no back or side neighbors) anyway, one day I had just threw my swimsuit over the line and heading in (husband already in) and a guy from church pulls up EEK!!! no where to hide, nothing big enough to cover me up and to top it off my husband locks me out and is dying laughing! To this day I can't look at this guy (which I'm sure he's scarred for life getting a eyeful of all of this hee hee)I'm getting red all over again just thinking about it!!

smilesaregreat said...

When my grandson was about 3 yrs and my great nephew was about 4 and a half, we all were outside in my brother's back yard. My great nephew was driving his battery run car around and was headed straight at my little grandson, he almost hit him but my brother jumped in front and stopped him. My brother was not happy with my great nephew (his grandson) He started talking to him and asking "Why would you do that, you could have hurt Jordan (my grandson) When my brother stopped scolding my little nephew looked up at us and said...
"Speed Bump!" We looked at each other and I thought we'd die laughing! And, all this time my little grandson is smiling and shaking his head yes!

Robin's Crafty Thing's said...

Great card!

Well.... My daughter and I were shopping in Old Navy, she was about 15 at the time & we were at a table looking at shirts, my Daughter was in my way so I took her by the arm, gave her a love pat her on the butt and proceeded to move her out of my way, I was totally mortified when I looked up to see that I had repositioned one of the sales girl's, who had my girl's same height and hair color and length. I COULD NOT STOP APOLOGIZING TO HER, I was so embarrassed,she seemed to think it was pretty funny though. To this day anyone I tell this story to cracks up!
Robin
rcz28@aol.com

Crystal said...

My funny is: When my daughter, Heather, was in kindergarten they try to come up with different hand-eye coordination games. It was the 100th day of school and they gave each of the children 100 pieces of Froot Loops cereal and some yarn and they told them to string them and wear it that day. The teacher was going around the room to help the children tie their necklaces on; but when she got to Heather, Heather was holding just the yarn. The teacher asked her where were her Froot Loops and she said I ate them. The teacher asked her why she ate them and Heather's only response was "They're Froot Loops !"

We still laugh about that still today and that was over 20 yrs. ago.

Crystal

JANLYNN said...

Lovely card. My story is from many many years ago. One Sunday a friend and her little sister went to church with me. Whoever was to keep the nursery that morning didn't show up so we had to take her little sister to the church service after Sunday school. We sat toward the back in case there was a problem but were rather amazed as her sister was intently listening to the pastor. She even stood in the pew intently listening. Toward the last of the service She belts out in her loudest voice "What is that crazy man up there talking about" We swiftly got her seated and my church Never left the nursery unatended again.

Nana Jo said...

Great card - would be fun to try. I can't think of a single funny thing at the moment - I'm doing all I can just reading email - dang sinuses and whatall. However, I can type as my voice is gone so just wish the brain would cooperate.

mmlmn@polarcomm.com

Anonymous said...

I have a story to tell about my husband and I still laugh really hard whenever I think about it or retell it.......
One Saturday morning, we were running around doing errands, and were in quite a bit of a hurry! We stopped at the UPS store and he just ran in to mail the item. He came back to the car and I said to him, "OH no, your pants are unzipped!" He started turning red and said , "That must be why she said that to me!" He had rushed in and said, "I have a package to deliver, " and the clerk replied, " I'll bet you do!!!!!!!" I have never laughed so hard in my life!
I hope you got a good laugh too....... Carmen

Marjorie said...

Love the card.

I had taken by oldest son (about 10 then), Ed, to the Drs. While the Dr was examining him, Ed looked at me and said in alarm, "Mom, your dermus is showing!" Well, I immediately cross my hands in front of me and cover my breasts. The Dr and Ed burst out laughing. Wish there had been a hole for me to crawl into and hid. Dermus is skin!

marjorie_brundage at sbcglobal dot net

Jessica said...

When my boys were young, 5 and 8. I was taking them to school one morning. I was watching the traffic pretty closely and finally the argument in the back seat made its way to my conscious brain. Pete: Does not
Matt: Does Too
Pete: Does Not... and it went on like this for a few minutes. Finally it appeared to be escalating, so I asked what they were arguing about. Matt in all his 5 yr old seriousness said "Tell him Mama, Tell him a tomato can too rip the roof off a house!" I thought what in the world is he talking about... And because I didn't answer right away, Pete Jumped right in and said to him: "See, I told you!" So I asked Matt what he was talking about and he said "You know Mama...like in that movie we watched Mama! You know the one with the Ding dongs in it. By then we were thouroughly confused. (well at least I was) Untill he started singing
"Ding dong the witch is dead, which ole witch, the wicked witch, Ding Dong the wicked witch is dead!" And then we finally understood. He meant Tornado, not Tomato!
I still laugh when I tell that story! And bless his heart, he doesn't mind me telling the story either!

Jessica said...

One day when I have some time do a blog post about the thin air in Denver, and Matt and the mouse. But it will take up too much space here. So you'll have to wait!
Thanks En, what a great card. I think I need that embossing template. Where can I get it. I love the look of those trees! Thanks Jess

Carrie K said...

Oh, these stories are so funny!!
Mine starts out when I was 25, I had some of those "glamour shots" taken. The pictures are very good, I still have one framed sitting on top of my curio cabinet in the dining room. Fast forward about 16 years, my grand daughters are here. Ages 6 and 7. We are having a snack at the table and they are talking about a movie they just saw and had questions about aging. I explained that you change as you get older, gain weight, get wrinkles, etc. And Kourtney (7) says. "yes, Sadie, its true. (points to picture of me) Look how beautiful she USED to be and look at her now!" (points to me) Ilaughed so hard!! Out of the mouths of babes!!!

angel2be said...

I live in suburbs of Chicago My Daughter and I were coming back from a day at Indiana beach. Well we got lost on expressway we took a wrong exit. I knew when we got off and I said to my daughter " We better turn a round we are at 160th and Stoney island. Which is not a good neighborhood to be in. So we turned around and headed back to expressway. My Grandson who is nine saids to me " Nana how many people live on the island?" We laughed so hard there is no island in Chicago.....You have a great blog cartridge is great.

Rae Ann said...

I used to work in the phone center at a credit union. You always hear about the full moon causing strange things to happen, but there is something to be said for that because we would get the strangest phone calls around that time each month. One that stands out in my mind was the caller who asked where we were located. I explained to him where he could find us. His response was "so you aren't in the shopping plaza by Safeway?" I explained that no we were not and explained to him again where we were located. He then asked me "are you sure?" I told him that I was positive as I had driven to work that morning and our building was still located where it always had been. =)

ddair said...

Enfy,
LOVE your work and your sense of humor!
This is a true story about myself as a new driver many,manyLOL years ago.
I had recenty got my drivers license and had driven to another small town to shop.
I had made a left turn and was driving happily down the street when a police car appears behind me, turned on his siren and lights, motioning me to pull over.
I promptly did so and my knees are shaking and I'm a nervous wreck by the time the policeman arrives at my car window.
I asked "what was wrong"? He said this is a "One Way Street".
I looked at him, still not understanding the problem and said "Officer, I'm only going one way"!
He looks at me and bursts out laughing and explains "yes, you were going ONE way" BUT "it was the WRONG way on this street"!
Fortunately, I just received a warning and turned around and continued my drive going the "RIGHT" way on the street. LOL
I had not remembered that incident in years. Thanks,
Diania

Marionment said...

My friend and her 2 year old grandson was in the grocery store. He kept speaking to everyone. Everyone spoke back. When they got to the check-out line, her grandson said "ey man, Hey Man" and he was just waving his little hand. When the old man didn't speak back the little boy said "Old foo1" The man then responded by saying "Did I just here him call me an old fool?" His grandmother was so embrassed. Motto is always speak to little children when they speak to you.

Cheryl said...

Love the stories!!
When my son was 9 years old, he was scared of the dark. And he wanted to watch a movie about werewolves...I said no but he begged and begged!!!! So I said ok! So the next night we had been out to the shops and got back home. And my son kept going on about how he isnt afraid of the dark! So my husband being the trickster that he is..said ok prove it,run around the house! So my son said ok fine. So he takes off running around the side of the house, and my husband bought a werewolf mask, and ran the other way around the house and stood by the corner behind the tree. And as soon as my son gets to that side of the house I hear my husband go arrgghhhhh and then I hear my son scream at the top of his lungs and shouting for us "mom , dad its a werewolf!!".....as he is running all the way back around the house! He was 5 feet from the backdoor! Which was unlocked! He could of just came in the house lol And then he realized it was his dad and busted out laughing !!! Well 2 nights later me and my husband are in the livingroom, just got our 2 boys te bed and were watching some telly, and we hear this scratching noise...and it was loud scratching. My husband says to me "haha its the boys trying to scare us " So he gets up and goes and checks on them and they are fast asleep. So he comes back in the livingroom and sits down and this scratching starts again, so he is trying to pinpoint where its comming from. By that time he is well freaked out and he lays on the floor and puts his ear to the floor and the scratching is comming from under the house!! He jumps up and says "get the golf club,the broomstick and the torch!! There is something under the house!!" So we go out on the porch and and can hear the scratching but cant see anything that would be making this loud noise. So with broomstick in hand lol I laydown to see what is under the porch. And to my amusement what I seen had me laughing...my husband is stood going what is it,what is it ....all panicked LOL ...it was an armadillo LOL it had gotten stuck under the steps to the porch, and was clawing the dirt and gravel trying to get unstuck lol So I pushed it out with the broomstick.....my husband didnt pull anymore tricks like that !!!! That armadillo scared him good hahahahahah

Cheryl said...

Another story,
When I was around 8-9 years old, at Christmas my mom would always get us new outfits to wear on Christmas day. So on the 25th we got up and opened our presents, and then went and got dressed, got the dining room table set up. And my sister and I sit down, well that year my mom had asked a guy friend to come spend Christmas with us. So we are all sitting at the table and my mom brings this tiny plate out and sets it on the table. And you could hear mine and my sisters jaws hit the floor lol ....it was a very very very tiny chicken!!! And my mom was trying to convince us that in fact it wasnt a chicken that is was a turkey! Well to make a long story short.....we all laughed because my mom came clean and in fact it was a chicken !!! My mom had forgot to buy the turkey!!

Karen said...

I work with adults with learning disabilities, and I had taken one chap (who is a real film buff) for an appointment at the hospital. He was looking at the hospital magazine where there was an article about some people doing a parachute jump to raise money for the hospital. He asked if I could do that and I said "no...I'm not brave enough". He looked at me for a while and said "you strike me as a person with inner strength"....I was just basking in the compliment when he continued...." a bit like the incredible hulk"....teach me to be smug!!!!

Chloe and Her Clip On Koalas said...

hahahaha... Enfys, what a great way to wake up reading tons of funny stories! Thank you for the morning laugh.

Bonnie said...

My two youngest granddaughters are always good for a laugh. Once while Abigail was staying with us I had her in my bathtub which is kind of deep and she loves "swimming" in there. While she was "swimming" I decided to take a shower, it is separate from the tub and has frosted glass. I got in the shower while Abi had her back to me but she turned around and kept staring at the shower. After a moment she said, "Nana, I can see your boobies and they look long!"

Rachel said...

Thank you for this opportunity!

I teach 6th-8th grade math and ELA in a small private school, so many of the kids have gone from elementary into middle school. However, starting in 6th grade, we sometimes get new students. This year, I got this one new student in my 6th grade homeroom named George. His family is from the South, so he knows all of these phrases (ex. "I'm going to hit you with a two-piece and a biscuit. The two-piece is okay, but the biscuit's going to hurt!"). He was also raised to be very proper and dignified. He loves cooking and magazines like Elegant Homes.

Well, since he's a new student and everyone else has been there for years, he didn't know or understand the fascination of going to the school nurse. When a student doesn't feel well, the nurse usually gives him/her juice and saltine crackers. The students who don't feel well are a little queasy or have stomachaches usually because they skipped breakfast.

On one particular morning at the beginning of the school year, I had 3 students in the nurse's office. I have a class of hypochondriacs, what can I say! Well, I already have a small class, so having kids missing made the room feel empty. They were taking quite a while, and we needed to move on to the next subject. Out of nowhere, George said, "What are they doing down there? Having croissants and tea?"

The ENTIRE class burst out laughing! We all knew that they were down there having juice and saltines, but he didn't! And to think he said croissants and tea instead of something more typical of a school nurse's office!

When one girl came back, someone asked, "How were the croissants and tea?" She was confused, and I asked, "What took so long? Where are the other two boys?" She said, "They're having juice and crackers." We cracked up once again that what George said was true! Haha. From that point on, we've called them "croissants and tea."

Rachel said...

Thank you for this opportunity!

I teach 6th-8th grade math and ELA in a small private school, so many of the kids have gone from elementary into middle school. However, starting in 6th grade, we sometimes get new students. This year, I got this one new student in my 6th grade homeroom named George. His family is from the South, so he knows all of these phrases (ex. "I'm going to hit you with a two-piece and a biscuit. The two-piece is okay, but the biscuit's going to hurt!"). He was also raised to be very proper and dignified. He loves cooking and magazines like Elegant Homes.

Well, since he's a new student and everyone else has been there for years, he didn't know or understand the fascination of going to the school nurse. When a student doesn't feel well, the nurse usually gives him/her juice and saltine crackers. The students who don't feel well are a little queasy or have stomachaches usually because they skipped breakfast.

On one particular morning at the beginning of the school year, I had 3 students in the nurse's office. I have a class of hypochondriacs, what can I say! Well, I already have a small class, so having kids missing made the room feel empty. They were taking quite a while, and we needed to move on to the next subject. Out of nowhere, George said, "What are they doing down there? Having croissants and tea?"

The ENTIRE class burst out laughing! We all knew that they were down there having juice and saltines, but he didn't! And to think he said croissants and tea instead of something more typical of a school nurse's office!

When one girl came back, someone asked, "How were the croissants and tea?" She was confused, and I asked, "What took so long? Where are the other two boys?" She said, "They're having juice and crackers." We cracked up once again that what George said was true! Haha. From that point on, we've called them "croissants and tea."

Jenny said...

My son is a typical teenage boy - annoying, loud, fun. We were headed to my grandparents to open gifts and I needed to stop for one last gift for him. He kept asking why. I kept saying because I need to stop there. It was getting old quick. After twenty minutes of why? I finally (thinking I would embarrass him into silence) told him I needed to stop for tampons. Without missing a beat he said "Just use Q-Tips and duct tape! I want to open presents!" A) He wasn't allowed to watch comedy shows for a bit B) I told my adult male friends who quickly tried that on their wives. Wives didn't find it funny C) Teenagers do not embarrass easily

Emily said...

What a cool giveaway! I have lots of funny moments because I have a 3 year old and she does silly things every day. Those most recent funny moment was when she had an accident in her pullup and did #2, I guess she felt it going up her back or something because she had been laying down so she stuck her hand back there and got it all over herself then came running to me screaming "AHHHH!!! MOMMMMMY!!!! It's poooo!!!" She felt so bad but I couldn't help but laugh.

lisa said...

debbie, that is so funny, reminds me of when i went shopping and bumped into a male manequinn, and his hand dropped off, i was horrified, and yelled out can someone call an ambulance, not registering i proceeded to tell the manequinn help was pn its way and to stay calm.
i was in astate, until sho assisstant said mam hes a dummy, we will just put his hand back on, i have never gone back to that store. yes i was beet red

liz at liz's paper loft said...

no funny story here...just love your card!
liz :o)

sharan said...

Ihave been a cardmaker for a long time. One night after spending hours working on some cards with lots of glitter I crawled into bed very late totally exhausted. The next day as dear husband and I were getting up,he noticed quite a few flakes of glitter in the bed on the sheet and merely said to me without batting an eye " Well I guess I know I am married to a crafter when I find all this glitter in the bed" It was so funny we both burst out laughing and I still chuckle when I think of it to this day.

Debbi said...

Your card is GORGEOUS!!
I wasn't sure what to write until I read my friend's FB post tonight. It went like this:
While eating lunch today my 4-yr-old said "Do they have rooms for Kitchens in Heaven?" I said I think they probably do. Her response was "Good. Maybe Jesus would like to bake something."
Reply from Friend 1:
I wonder what Jesus would bake. At first I was thinking he would cook the perfect food so it would clearly have to include chocolate. But then you've got Devil's food cake and that's just not going to work. I guess the obvious choice is angel food cake. Hmmmm. I'll have to keep thinking about this one.
Friend 2: What about Divinity?

Hope you got a chuckle. :-)
*smiles*
debbi

Marty said...

I work as a student aide at an elementary school and like you I love my coffee. Every day I go to work with a travel mug in hand and continue to fill it throughout the day. Last year a second grader asked "Ms. marty are you an alcoholic?" My response "Why do you ask?" Reply "because my uncle is and he carries a cup like yours around all day too"

Sarah said...

My great niece who is 2 is gettin potty trained by her mom and this is the conversation I overheard the other day...

Mom: Kaydance did you poop?
Kaydance: Yup, in my pants all by myself......
eyeroll from mom
She was proud as a peacock too.

ScrappingGranny said...

This happened years ago in my youth, tight fitting bluejean years. I was taking calcium which caused unexpected flatulence but I needed to go shopping badly. I had warned my children to just walk off and not giggle.

I came out of the dressing room to look in the tri-mirror. I wasn't sure of the fit so walked over to the bluejeans and was looking through them when a lady with two young boys came and knelt down below me to look at others.

At that time my unharmonious sound burst forth with glee and the boys doubled over and again my clamorous
song chimed again and the mother said,"Well, I never!" .

Upon my getting the giggles when I saw my snickering hubby and children hidden behind a rack and I once again "thundered" and looked at the disgusted lady in the face and said, "I'm sure you have!"
JesusLuvNgranny

freetimegone said...

I love your card and your idea for funny stories to win a prize is awesome. So glad I don't have to pick. Of course my DH can't figure out why I am sitting here laughing at my computer. Mine isn't as funny as some of these but here it is...
When our daughter was 7 or 8 there was a story on the news about a 13 year girl that was pregnant after being raped. Trying to stimulate some conversation about abuse and teen pregnancies, we asked our daughter what she would do if that happened to her and without pausing she said "I would put it up for abortion". (she meant adoption)

Kristie Maynard said...

I have a couple stories for you. I have a friend who have 3 little boys, this Christmas a couple things happened that were really funny. First the 3 yr old had a Christmas party and the 5 yr old went too. They then went to a local nursing home where some of the residents did some dancing etc for them, then one of the women (about 85 yrs old) was reading them the Christmas story. She got to a certain point and asked "Does anyone know where Jesus was born?" The 5 yr old raises his hand and tells them "Yes, Jesus was born in the barn with the oxes and ass holes" Luckily no one really heard him say it, but poor Mom was really embarassed.

Then after Christmas, she and the 3 yr old were putting away decorations. They were packing up their manger scene and she asked the 3 yo to get Mary. He brought it to her and said "I'll go for Verge" Mom asked "What? Verge?" To which her son replied "Yeah, You know Verge and Mary."

One more, this one is about a friend of ours. George was blind and when he would go with his wife shopping he would often sit in the furniture department and wait for her. When he was sitting there, he would usually sit still and because he was blind it was like he was staring off into the distance. One day he sat down to wait for Lois and a couple women came up and apparently were looking at him sitting there. They were commenting on the furniture and the one says to the other, "Nice chair, but it sure is a funny looking mannequin, isn't it?" At that point, George burst out laughing. Scared the poor ladies half crazy and boy were they embarassed.

This is a great idea Enfys, I am really enjoying reading these stories.
Love the card and can only imagine how messy that whole process was.

Thanks again for the party!

JesusLuvNgranny said...

these stories are all so funny... what a great way to get laughter going.

I posted a funny story but didnt know how to "choose an identity" so chose name/url. in JesusLuvNgranny ... hope i did it right.

Jodie R said...

I love your card! It is gorgeous!

These stories are hilarious! Mine happened several years ago at a small party. The livingroom was set up with three large couches that formed a U shape and faced the fireplace. The kitchen and diningroom were directly behind the couches and there were a couple dining chairs right outside the diningroom for extra seating. Evryone was on the couches, except for my husand and I who were standing behind the couches and Rubin, who was sitting in one of the dining chairs. We were getting ready to go home, but I decided to get some water before we left I went in the kitchen for a few minutes and then went back to stand next to my husband. I put my arm around my hubby and my head on his arm. I started noticing that when someone would talk to Rubin they would look at my husband and vice versa. Finally, I looked at my husband and realized I was hugging Rubin - not my DH. I turned beat red and everyone burst out laughing. They couldn't figure out why I was hanging on Rubin either. Apparently, when I went to the kitchen, those two switched places for some reason and because they look so much alike from behind, I didn't notice the switch. I was so embarassed.

Say Anything Crafts said...

Great card, I have never heard of this stuff before, loooks like a very messy project but what great results. TFS

Steph
Doodledo (circle mb)

Mary said...

On Sunday morning I brought a photo of my brand new (and only) grandchild Jaxen to show my students. After looking at the picture of the tiny baby, one of the little girls said, "Miss Mary, you will be very old when Jaxen is a grown man." "Yes, I will be," I admitted. "Miss Mary," her brother added, "I don't think you noticed that you are very old already!"

Bobbi said...

My DD was 3 and we were out shopping at a store and she had to go to the bathroom (one of her favorite activities was scoping out the bathroom of every store we go into), we were in the stall and the lady next too us was having some serious bowel movements and my DD said, "mom why is that lady farting, you said we shouldn't do that in public". When we exited the stall, several ladies were trying to cover their laughter and my face was beet red.

Cheryl Winget said...

My little grandson has two older sisters. When he was 2 they dressed him up in a tutu and tiara and my daughter just 'had' to take a photo of her little boy in this getup. Patrick is now 3 1/2 and told me that he was a girl "a long time ago." This poor little guy who loves super heroes and trucks thinks that is the only explanation for the photo! LOL

scalder said...

Oh my how to compete with the funnies I have read?? Well.... I have 5 brothers and sisters, most over 60. Needless to say growing up nothing was wasted and food had to be stretched!! Well, one Thanksgiving mom cooked a HUGE turkey (by then there were some in-laws too). Not all was eaten so mom had carefully put the leftovers in the fridge. Carcass was left on the counter, ready to go in the soup pot. Lou was asked to take out the 'scraps' and put them in the compost pile. Well, typical guy, not listening well or thinking...went into the kitchen, grabbed the first thing he saw and took it out and dumped it in the compost! Yup, you guessed it the turkey carcass, not the veggies off the plates! It must be at least 40 years later and every time we have turkey we tease Lou that he is NOT to get near the leftovers:)

Jo said...

Not sure why, but this is the story that popped in my head. My husband and I served in the US Air Force and were stationed in Germany in the mid 1980’s. We lived in a small town outside Frankfurt and there was a small gasthaus in our neighborhood that we visited frequently for dinner. It was a small, comfortable place and the owners came to know us as ‘regulars’. Our daughter was about 4 years old at the time and was going through the “I’m a big girl … I can do it myself” stage. Well, one evening she decided she needed to go potty and asked if she could go by herself … for some unknown reason I said yes. So, off she went. A few minutes later, our waitress comes to our table, and with great urgency in her voice says, “Your daughter, she needs you!” So off I go. Just as I round the bar and head down the hall toward the restroom, I hear my daughter holler at the top of her lungs, “Mom, come wipe my butt!” I choose to believe that no one else in the gasthaus could understand her English!

Barbara said...

The answer is "A Paper Craft". I agree a tutorial of your card is in order! Thanks for an awesome give away!

barbara614@insghtbb.com

littleeifwife said...

Exquisite card!!! Okay, here's my story...maybe not so much funny, but one of those EMBARASSING moments..and it happened to my husband, with my daughter Emily, 29 years ago. He was a policeman at the time, she was 1 year old, I was a stay at home Mom. There was a ceramic policeman figure that I had painted for my husband as a gift, and she was fascinated by it. She picked it up one day and came walking toward me with it, and about the time I said "Emily, let's put that down", she tripped & fell with it in her hands. Of course..the "bill" of the policeman's hat hit her right under her eye and left a small bruise.
A couple days later my husband went with Emily to our local family owned pharmacy (he actually worked there for a short time as one of his first jobs when he was about 16) to pick up a prescription for one of us. While the cashier was ringing him out, just to make conversation, she said to Emily.."Ahhh..what happened to your eye??? To my husband's horror she just pointed at him and didn't say a thing!!!

What a nightmare!! He still tells that story whenever anyone is talking about embarrasing moments with your children or grandchilren!!

Shari said...

I manage a The UPS Store and being Martin Luther King day today, we had lots of calls asking if we were open, but the best one was the person who asked if we were open, went on to tell us what needed to be packed and shipped and then said they will be in tomorrow. Maybe you had to be there but we thought it was really funny.

Love the card, very ceative. I don't think it is messy at all.

Shari . .

Anonymous said...

Here's a funny for you:
A man is driving along a country road and a woman is driving along the same road in the opposite direction. As the cars pass each other, the woman yells out, "pig!". The man is taken aback, turns his head and yells "bitch!" in response. Too late he focuses on the road again, only to run over a pig.
Moral of the story: if only men would listen :0)
PJ(Jessie Adams)

Jennifer said...

A number of years ago my friend and I were in charge of a children's program at our church. We started out in church and our minister gave a children's sermon and then we took the children to a classroom for snack, crafts, and other activities.

My friend's three year old daughter loved to sit right next to the minister or on his lap. This particular Sunday happened to be St. Patrick's Day. And being of Irish descent my friend had made matching green jumpers for her daughter and herself. The minister commented on Kaylee's jumper and how pretty it was. Her response -- directly into his lapel microphone -- was "If you like my jumper you should see my Mommy's shamrock panties! They are Daddy's favorites 'cause they glow in the dark!"

It took a long time for the minister to regain control of the congregation and we beat a hasty retreat with the children!!

This was fifteen years ago and on St. Patrick's Day people still ask my friend if she's "glowing"!

Mona E said...

When this happened my daughter was learning to speak.
I little while ago i noticed that my daughter`s diaper was so full that it was dangling far down between her legs. A bit of a comic sight in itself. Anyway, i asked if she could come with me so that i could get to fix her diaper. Before that she probabely had picked up that when i am going to fix things i usually use the screwdriver, so instead of coming directly to me, she ran off to the box where i keep my screwdrivers. She picked one up and gave it to me and said: Mommy, now you can fizz my diaper.

Hugs...Mona

Theresa said...

Great blog candy. Thanks for offering.
I love your card. Have that stencil and will have to try this.
I have checked out your blog and love it too, so have become a follower.
My funny story involves my DGG Camryn. I used to babysit her one day a week and one prticular week I had to go to work so had arranged to drop her at a friend's house. She was 2 1/2 at the time and I handed her over to my friend and as was our custom, I said "Bye, I love you". Usually she would reply "I love you too", but this day- nothing. I said again "I love you" and still nothing so my friend prompted her to reply and whispered in her ear, "I love you more". Hearing that, Camryn's little thumb jerked back, pointing at my friend and she said, "She loves me more" You should have seen the look on my friend's face. Priceless.
Theresa in Kitimat

Barbara said...

This will be short, but sweet. We were all sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. An elderly friend of my mother-in-law was also present. We were talking about the Pilgrims and the 1st Thanksgiving. My 8 year old daughter in a serious tone said, "Mom, Did you live in colonial times?" We all burst our laughing. (I am 48!) -nu2scrap-

Theresa said...

I have another Camryn story. My daughter needed a new vehicle. We had test driven and few and on the way home we were talking about them and my daughter said "I like the truck because I'm up high." With that, Camryn (again, about 2 1/2) started to giggle and said, "I'm a cookie, and Grandma's a cake." My daughter looked at me and wanted to know what she was talking about. What Camryn had heard her mom say was "I'm a pie".
Theresa in Kitiamt

jtgkaiser said...

It's all your fault! Finally got a new phone, a Droid, and downloaded Angry Birds. Yes, it is very addicting!! Whilst I sat and played the game, the oil in the pan got warm, then hot, and just as I remembered I had something on the stove it began to smoke! Had every window in the house open in an attempt to clear the place ... smoke detectors never went off!! Hubby was very understanding, and helpful. Love your blog, and cards!

AShu93 said...

Not a real story, just a joke I already told you. I hadn't seen it on the blog, so I don't know if you shared it with Anne. I'm sure it'll make her laugh!

I was in Dunkin Donuts recently when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud so I timed my fart with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs I started to feel better. I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was staring at me…
And suddenly I remembered I was listening to my iPod…
and how was your day?

Ola said...

I have 2 stories that I have to share... but I'll do it in 2 comments to keep them short!

My youngest son received one of those monster truck big wheels for Christmas when he was 2. Well he was outside having a blast going up & down the driveway. The last lap he was driving, but watching the dog behind him. Well.... he slammed into the back of my car with his Monster Truck! He jumped out screaming Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! I went running over to him to see if he was okay.... his reply to me was: "I hit my knee, we have car insurance right?, because I need to file a claim!!! I just started cracking up!

I then let my insurance agent uncle know, that there will be no more insurance talk in front of Zach, or he'll be wanting to file a claim for everything!!!

Loved reading everyone elses stories!!!

~Ola
okj83 at live dot com
zloe.blogspot.com

Ola said...

My 2nd story is again about my youngest son Zach!

My parents, Zach & myself went out to eat at Hooters when Zach was a little over 3 years old. Of course all the Hooters girls were coming over & talking to him & giving him whatever they had to give him.

Our waitress would come up to the table & stand between myself & Zach in his highchair. While she was taking our order, bringing our drinks, bringing our food, everything she would constantly be looking behind her. Finally when we were about ready to go she came up & was doing it again.... I asked her if everything was okay. She pointed behind her to the back of her legs.... and there is my lovely 3 year old sons hand just rubbing the back of her legs (which he had been doing every time she came up to our table)!!! Of course my face is red & I'm apologizing profusely... she was sweet about it!

I asked him what he was doing rubbing her legs.... he said they don't feel like legs, they're really slick & soft, lol! He was amazed with the pantyhose she had on!!!

I'm thinking this will be a great story for his open house after graduation & the perfect scrapbook page (I did get his picture with her)!!

~Ola
okj83 at live dot com
zloe.blogspot.com

Debbi said...

My daughter was reading funny quotes to me yesterday.

She read this one: "Silence is golden; duct tape is silver."

I laughed so hard!

Then she said, "Mom, I don't get it."

I laughed harder!

She'll get it...in about 20 years, lol.

*smiles*
debbi

candyscorner said...

This happened when my oldest daughter, who is now 13, was about 3. We were driving in a parking lot and a woman walked in front of my car on her way to whatever store she was going to. I got upset at this person for not looking where she was going and I said something like "Hey, Chick, watch where you're going!" My innocent daughter pipes up from the backseat "Mommy, why did the chicken cross the road?"

Candy
candace_wichmann@merck.com

Tabitha said...

When in high school while dating my hubby. I was walking through the cafeteria looking all cute in my cheerleading outfit and saw that my boyfriend was in the library with his class and noticed me. I was waving at him while walking and smacked right into a huge pillar in the middle of the cafeteria. I was mortified, his whole class saw me and they were all laughing, including my boyfriend! I was super embarrassed and we still laugh about it now 15 years later. Thanks for a chance to make you laugh.
tabitha4cm at yahoo dot com

Sandy said...

I think mine would be when we were fishing, I came across the road to fish with my sons - they were quite young - maybe 3 and 6. I slipped as I started down the hill to meet them, and I tumbled all of the way down the hill, into the water. My sons yelled out - Go Mom! They laughed so hard that I started to laugh. The best thing of all is that, despite the trauma, I did NOT drop my fishing pole. I do have bragging rights about that. The boys - who are now 26 and 29 - still bring this up during get togethers.

Evelyn C said...

One of my funnies is craft related - i have a very good friend who always gets me to make cards for her - for every and any occasion under the sun. My friend has a wickedly funny sense of humour and a few years back she was approaching the big 40 - not particularly looking forward to it i have to say! she was dreading it but was haaving a party to celebrate so,we all thought being 40 was really no big deal!!! oh how wrong I was - while in the craft shop i came across the dolly mama range of stamps - some of which have very tongue -in -cheek sayings - but all of which appealed to my sense of humour and thought one in particular would suit my friend to a T,who has an equally wicked humour - i proceedded to make her a lovely card using the stamp i had 'carefully' chosen for her. WELL it is the only card out of hundreds that i have made for her that i never got a 'thank you' or 'that was lovely' for......mayve being 40 was a much bigger issue for her than any of us realised........i mean whats wrong with a card that says.......'Go Braless........it pulls the wrinkles out your face!!!!'

thankfully she is still speaking to me....but she has never once mentioned her card!!! ooops! always makes me laugh when i think of this!

LaceTopDesigns said...

Ive just found your site, and its fab!

After having 3 boys and breastfeeding each for over a year, my boobs are almost non-existant so I wear heavily padded/gel filled bras.
Whenever we go into John Lewis, we have to walk through the underwear section to reach the lift and every visit my 2 year old belts out in his loudest voice "Mummies Boobies over there. Mummy needs new bigger boobies. Go look?"
Then whenever we go past any shop window that has bras on display, he shouts out very loudly. "BOOBIES"

Dont even mention the hysterics he was in last night when he saw my real boobs after I showered.

AnneMaflan said...

In my late teens, I was out having lunch with my mom, my grandmother, and my little brother at a Denny's restaurant. After ordering my food, I excused myself to go to the restroom that was located down the hall from our booth. After taking care of my personal business and washing my hands, I exited the restroom and returned to my family's booth. After sitting down, I look at my grandmother, and she's laughing so hard that no sound is coming out and tears are streaming down her face. Then I look at up our waitress, and she's leaning against a dividing wall, clutching her stomach and laughing, and the cook not far from her was snickering loudly as well. I'm looking around, trying to see what's so funny. Then I see the bartender in the adjoining bar laughing so hard that he'd dropped his strainer; it was full of ice and had splattered all over, but he didn't care. So I turn around, and now my mom and my brother are laughing, too! I said: "What is so funny?" My mom said: "Look at what's on the back of your pants." I stood up and was horrified to see toilet paper sticking out of my pants. I grabbed it to remove it, and saw that it was a long (but unsoiled) piece tucked in my waistband. I'm trying to gather it up, and my horror intensified: The trail of paper was leading around the booth, down the hall, and back to the restroom! I'm running down the hall of the restaurant and frantically gathering the toilet paper as I go. I pushed open the restroom door and saw that the paper was still attached to the dispenser roll inside the stall! Despite me walking about 50 feet way around twists and turns, the paper never tore off the roll and EVERYONE saw it! I was the reason for the uproarious laughter!!!! By now, nearly everyone in the restaurant was bellowing; I could hear them through the door! Gathering my courage, I exited the restroom again and went back to my booth. I then ate my lunch with my family, determined not to let my colossal embarrassment ruin my meal. About half an hour later, the waitress came and presented me with the most expensive dessert on the menu. I didn’t order it, so I thought she gave it to me by mistake. As it turned out, she’d told her manager what happened to me and he felt so bad about my toilet paper terror that he gave me the dessert on the house to make me feel better. My mom still teases me about it to this day!

Anonymous said...

It was the day before my 4 year old grandaughter's first day at school so I said "You must be very excited about going to school tomorrow" she replied straight away
"I don't think I'll bother,I think I'll take a day off sick"

Tip Top said...

Right, well mine is probably funny for everyone but me! I worked in a supermarket when I was 18 and my parents were away on holiday and I'd enjoyed very late nights and not so early mornings due to work and some days didnt actually go to bed at all. So after a week I was pretty tired, went to bed and woke up at what I thought was 7am. Had my breakfast, rang a taxi (was lazy in those days plus it was dark too!) and asked him to take me to work. The driver asked if I was working the night shift. So I said no, I start at 8:30am. It wasnt until we actually got there until I realised it was actually 8pm, I'd only been in bed a few hours and was a full 12 hours early for the day shift. I think the taxi driver had a hard time keeping on the right side of the road whilst driving me back as he was laughing so hard....!

Sandy Bayles said...

Great card... I love the effects.
Thanks for a great giveaway.
E-Mail: davidbayles@sprintmail.com

Sandy Bayles said...

Enfys,
I remember that I took Amtrack to Va one year to surprise my parents for Christmas. It was a great Christmas. We cut down one of those skinny pines in their backyard and you had to watch hanging the ornaments because the branches were so skinny. It was a Charlie Brown Christmas tree but since my Dad and I cut it it was the greatest tree ever.
E-Mail: davidbayles@sprintmail.com

dj1952 said...

My story wasn't funny at the time, but my family and I have laughed about it for ages since then. It was about 25 years ago and I decided to stop at one of these self-serve car washes. I was going to pick my twin daughters up from daycare; which closed in about 30 minutes but it didn't normally take but about five to ten minutes. So I go to put my quarters in the machine and one quarter didn't fit just right. So, I went to straighten it and my finger got stuck in the hole. The harder I tried to get it out, the more it swole up. I had to start yelling for help, and it seemed like forever before anyone came by to help. (This was before cell phones.) Of course, it was a long time friend, but he had to call the Fire Department, and then the Police Department to pick my daughters up. They almost had to take the money box apart to get my finger out. So there I am, with a fire truck, police car (who had gotten my daughters) and a number of other by-standers stopping by to see what had happened. And just about that time my husband got there, as the friend that stopped first, had called the company he worked for and told him what happend. By then I was crying and laughing, because I felt so stupid.

I can still picture it in my mind. LOL. Hugs, Debra

Tamra said...

We stopped at a store one time and my husband went in for sodas and chips and I was sitting in the passenger seat watching a couple come out of the store. The man walked right up to my door, opened it and preceded to sit down. Then he noticed I was sitting there and jumped and shut the door. A truck just like mine was parked a little ways away with his wife laughing her head off. I will never forget the look on his face.

AnneMaflan said...

In my teens, I was out having lunch with my mom, my grandma, & my little brother. After ordering, I excused myself to go to the restroom. After washing my hands, I returned to my family's booth. After sitting down, I look at my grandmother, & she's laughing so hard that no sound is coming out & tears are streaming down her face. I look at up our waitress, & she's leaning against a wall, clutching her stomach & laughing, & the cook not far from her was snickering loudly. I'm looking around to see what's so funny. I see the bartender laughing so hard he'd dropped his strainer. So I turn around, & now my mom & my brother are laughing! I said: "What is so funny?" My mom said: "Look at the back of your pants." I stood up & was horrified to see toilet paper sticking out of my pants. I grabbed it to remove it, & saw that it was a long (but unsoiled, thank God) piece tucked in my waistband. I'm trying to gather it up, & my horror intensified: The paper trail was leading around the booth, down the hall, & back to the restroom! I'm running down the hall of the restaurant, frantically gathering toilet paper as I go. I pushed open the door & saw that the paper was still attached to the dispenser in the stall! Despite me walking 50 feet away around twists and turns, the paper never tore off the roll & EVERYONE saw it! By now, nearly everyone in the restaurant was bellowing; I could hear them through the door! Gathering my courage, I exited again & went back to my booth. I ate my lunch with my family, determined not to let my colossal embarrassment ruin my meal. About half an hour later, the waitress served me the most expensive dessert on the menu. I didn’t order it, so I thought she gave it to me by mistake. As it turned out, she told her manager what happened to me & he felt so bad about my toilet paper terror that he gave it to me on the house to make me feel better. My mom still teases me about it to this day!